My Religious Beliefs

My Conversion

I used to be blinded. I was a taoist/buddhist due to my upbringing and then became an atheist. But I am blinded no more. I have opened my eyes to the wonders of the world and see the need for a creator behind everything. And that creator is the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

The one true Creator!

While I have to note first, I have 5 religions. Pastafrianism is the one true religion and I primarily worship our creator the Flying Spaghetti Monster. But I also follow the belief held by the Missionary Church of Kopimism that sharing information, including file sharing, is sacred. I also worship the Force, the mysterious force that runs through all life, you could say I am a Jedi wannabe.

One of our most respected clergymen!

In the past few days, I have been further enlightened. It had been a grueling month for me as I was struggling in my spiritual choices, I was considering a fourth religion, and Christianity was my top pick. But in the end, I settled for Mormonism as my fourth religion due to the charisma of Joseph Smith and Scientology as my fifth religion since it is endorsed by Tom Cruise, I mean a celebrity's choices can't be wrong right?

Who would trust those ugly atheists over this handsome man?

I say, put a stop to the religious wars my fellow theists! Don't try to kill each other and compare religions all the time. Know a new religion that's almost as cool as Christianity? Don't feel threatened, feel enlightened! Embrace that religion and place an idol of your new secondary god beside an idol of Jesus! This the life man.

This is my testimony as a man who is happily engaged in 5 religions, and I say the more the merrier! Get your new religions at your closest religious institution today! It's free*!

*Fees may be incurred in the form of requested donations.

My Pity For Atheists

I used to be an atheist, like I said before. It is much to my chagrin that I used to be so sad and deluded. Wake up atheists!

Here's what I think about your moronic fringe group's ideas!

The universe is obviously created by a complex designer that may have existed all along and/or came to being out of nothing, and most importantly it cannot be due to something absurd like the big bang, the universe being created out of nothing? Don't make me laugh! That's impossible! A creator that existed out of nothing due to his omnipotence is much more likely.

I'm not sure why even I couldn't understand such a simple process the last time, this is probably something even three year olds can understand! Shame on you atheists.

Also, that evolution thing? Yeah it's true. But you know what? It was actually guided by the noodly appendages of the Flying Spaghetti Monster! There is no way such complex changes in an organism could be caused by nature, out of nothing, that is simply absurd! It has to be guided by a designer, who is there to guide all of the organisms! Never mind the multiple 'flaws' you find in organisms, the FSM did it because of his sense of humour! It is still much more intelligent than you!

Now, I am also a follower of such other great religions like Mormonism, so I do not discount the fact that Yahweh God could have done that instead, but the FSM is my primary deity.

I pray for your souls and I hope the FSM blesses you with his noodly appendages and lets you into the stripper factory and beer volcano when you die.